Dampness
by SamSpade
Summary: Something about it, the air, the dampness it wasn’t like home. It made her strangely happy. Set during 2x05
1. Part 1

_I've been meaning to post this for awhile now. What started as a few pages has turned into 10 and I'm still not done. So I thought I'd break it into Parts. I'm not sure how many it'll take to wrap the story up, but a few. Enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated._

Part 1:

"Whether you admit it or not, your life is something of a nightmare." The words Sam had spoken kept ringing in her ears. Was he actually right? Her life didn't seem perfect, far from it. She tried not to let some things bother her but Charlie---it wasn't easy to just let it go.

She carried a sadness around with her, a painful reminder of what was lost and would never be found. She tried to bury it, much like he'd been laid to rest but it was something she couldn't remove from herself. He'd been a friend to her, a colleague, and someone she had always been able to trust. Losing that scared her. It terrified her and the fact she was forced to pull the trigger, unforgivable and yet it had to be done.

She couldn't regret the decision, her life was on the line and Charlie was no longer the man in the body she believed him to be.

When she got the case about leaving for Seattle she was grateful for the reprieve, away from Boston. She was looking forward to a fresh start even if it was only temporary. Something about it, the air, the dampness it wasn't like home. It made her strangely happy.

She wasn't the only one that noticed the change, Walter hadn't liked it and though she felt bad for him leaving, she couldn't help but enjoy the fact it was just her and Peter now.

***

She was more than slightly surprised when there was a knock at her door. With her toothbrush in her hand she knew who it had to be. The one and only, Peter Bishop. She smiled seeing his M.I.T. shirt and laughed at the fact she was wearing her Northwestern T-shirt. Even their pajamas seemed to match. She made light of, joked about having actually graduated when he'd bought his shirt to impress the girls. He hadn't denied her the truth.

He told her why he really came by, what he'd found. Then, it seemed he found himself opening up to her. Explaining about his childhood nightmares. His father had been the only one able to make them stop. From the time he was eight until nineteen, the mantra he'd say before bed "Please don't dream tonight." Though so utterly simple worked.

Silently she stared at him, wondering if they would work for her as well. Her dreams hadn't been peaceful lately. She couldn't remember the last time she slept through the night. She could remember countless times waking up in tears. She knew it was ridiculous, they were just bad dreams and yet she couldn't help the terror and fear she felt. It had been so incredibly real.

***

"They just wanted some rest." The doctor's voice echoed through her ears. She could easily relate, imagining the extremes some people would go through to find comfort in sleep. Though albeit it unconventional there were always people willing to take the risk for little if no reward.

It wasn't hard to imagine what the others must have gone through, at least bringing them into such a sleep study. She just wasn't sure, even with little to no sleep, she'd feel comfortable with an implant in her neck. It seemed way too science fiction even if it was science fact. It creeped her out not that she'd say anything to anyone.

She was glad when she left the office and finally headed back to the hotel room. Peter was with her, it was a relief to have him here in Seattle. She hated not knowing who she'd count on now that Charlie was gone. It wasn't that she didn't trust Peter, hardly, she just hated leaving it entirely up to him to be her backup. He was strong, forceful, would do anything to protect her---she knew that---but it wasn't his job. It wasn't his responsibility to look after her. Though she was wondering when it had become that way. Though he never complained she knew he probably wasn't thrilled with the responsibility. He didn't have a gun, using his bare hands wasn't always the best strategy. He was quick-witted though and always figured something out.

Sitting across from him, watching him eat the apple her eyes moved from the red treat across his lips as he took a bite. She tried not to allow herself the distraction but it was increasingly difficult.

Averting her eyes, she sighed seeing the picture of Charlie. She didn't know why she still carried it with her. Maybe as a reminder but of what she wasn't yet certain. The picture haunted her more than she cared to admit. Peter watched her, opening his mouth, trying to get her to open up, to make her realize he understood what she was going through, what she had to do.

She didn't know what compelled her to talk, to explain to him about her first real week on the job with the Bureau. How the fear had ran through her veins and though she wanted to run out, escape, Charlie had seen her eying the exit, told her "you're gonna be fine." Those words still rung in her ears today. Every time, gun drawn she'd hear him in her head. It was harder now though, with Charlie forever gone. She hadn't really been able to say goodbye, not properly. The funeral had been difficult enough to attend. She was friends with his wife and pretending that he died in the line of duty, that he was a fallen hero---maybe in a way he was—it was difficult.

She was finding it increasingly difficult to stay unemotional and detached. She needed an escape, a distraction and opening up to Peter, though she desperately wanted to, she couldn't. She needed to be strong. She wouldn't allow him to see this weak side of her, she herself didn't want to see it. She made a quick excuse standing up, the one time she had wished the phone to ring or the door to interrupt them—it hadn't happened.

He watched her hands tremble as she disappeared around the corner. "Okay." The words moved past his lips hearing the front door shut. This was not how he envisioned them talking. Shaking his head he stood up. He couldn't just leave things the way they were. Maybe she wanted space and time to settle down but it was clear she was hurting inside. He wanted to be there to take the pain away. "Livia," he headed out after her, through the front door and down the hall. Seeing her she ignored his call to her. She hit the elevator button, once then twice, harder and faster, wanting it to come.

"Livia," he repeated coming up behind her, his hand moving to her shoulder turning her around to face him.

"Don't Peter," her voice waivered but held warning as he watched her bottom lip tremble. She bit down and he watched as she grimaced from the pain, wondering if blood would seep out. One hand stayed planted firmly on her shoulders, making sure she wouldn't turn away or run.

"You can be angry all you want, but I didn't do anything to hurt you," he reminded her.

"I'm not angry with you," she shook her head, glancing away feeling her eyes well up. She did not want him to see her like this! "Peter, please." She shifted in his grasp trying to get away.

"I'm right here for you, Livia." He breathed pulling her closer, her body falling into his as his hand guided her head into the crook of his neck. He could feel wetness seeping against his skin but he didn't say anything. Didn't laugh at her or joke about it. He just held her until she finally settled down, neither saying a word.


	2. Part 2

_Here's the second part. It's coming along quite nicely. Special thanks to wjobsessed for suggesting the next bit. It's not quite what you had in mind but I hope it's satisfying enough until the next chapter ____ Enjoy! Feedback is appreciated. _

_***_

She had held onto him longer than she knew she should have. His touch strangely comforting, relaxing, lulled her into a peaceful state though still awake. He'd soothed her with his simple touch. She didn't say a word, took comfort in his embrace and held on longer than necessary. He offered her not only strength and comfort but a longing for something she'd missed. A connection with another person. Human contact and though it was of the simplest form, a hug, it was Peter and that alone made it different.

"I still should get going---" she finally pulled back, knowing the excuse she'd given him, though an excuse still meant work had to be done. They were in Seattle for a reason and it had nothing to do with a nice long vacation.

Though deep down she wanted an escape. Even if it only meant going back to that other night when Peter had shown up at her door, wearing his MIT shirt. Why couldn't she have changed things that night? Why had she been afraid to act on impulse? She knew why. Always thinking rationally. Always playing by the rules and being ever so careful about getting hurt. It was the physical hurt but the emotional she couldn't deal with. She'd suffered enough of it lately. Wasn't it time for things to change? For her to be happy?

She wanted to take his hand, lead him back to her hotel room and into the bedroom, do things with him she knew she shouldn't be thinking about. They were dirty thoughts, one's she hadn't had in months but having seen him in his pajamas, it was hard not to think about undressing him, seeing what was underneath. It also gave her hope, a sense of purpose in longing for something she couldn't have. She'd lost John, she'd lost Charlie and though they were two entirely different people, she wasn't ready to lose Peter. Fantasizing about him seemed safe. It was from a distance and he'd never have to know.

"Thank you," she finally breathed, her fingers finding his cheek, gently touching the stubble, "you don't have to worry about me, Peter."

Peter nodded slowly, his eyes boring into hers. "If you're sure." He didn't want to let her go but she seemed calmer, much more relaxed. The look in her eyes, the tears had long since vanished and that made him feel better that he'd been there, to help her. His hold on her loosened and finally dropped, instantly missing the warmth of her body. "You let me know if you need anything else, okay?"

She nodded slowly, giving him the faintest of smiles, "yeah, I will."

***

Her life truly seemed like a puzzle. It was no wonder Sam had called her, asked if she'd gotten the business cards and told her the next step in her process of healing. Sam was strange and his methods were highly unorthodox but they seemed to help. Right now, she was willing to do almost anything to erase the pain. The dull throbbing in her heart didn't seem to disappear. The man that was her friend was dead and it was because of her. She had no choice in killing him but the images in her mind, the nightmares she'd been having in the short durations of sleep during the night, were horrible. He was always the one choking her, killing her. She'd wake in a cold sweat, feeling as if she were dying yet again.

She knew Charlie was gone, long before she pulled the trigger. Not in the physical sense of time but the moments before as he tried killing her. The attack was brutal. She'd just recently healed from her trip to the other dimension. Now she had new wounds, physical and emotional that needed fixing. The bruises were fresh, the scars still healing with each passing day.

Hearing Sam's voice on the phone, telling her to "find the phrase," as he so eloquently put it when she wondered what the hell he was talking about, only further to confuse her. A phrase in a series of random business cards and she was to choose one letter from the first and last name at random. What were the possibilities there'd be any words at all from it? Eight names, that was sixteen letters. It was possible it might spell something but she doubted it. Sam was odd but predictable he was not. There had to be something else in all this. It had been that way with the bowling shoes. As it had never been about bowling at all.

She vaguely remembered asking him "what phrase, what am I looking for?" as her eyes glanced over the cards, circling the letters, doing as instructed. She felt crazy for falling into such nonsense, knowing Peter would think her clinically insane. She'd been through a lot, crazy was not a word she wanted to be defined as.

She could hear the echo, "whatever it is you need to hear. You'll figure it out. Gotta go." He hung up as quickly as the conversation had started. That was Sam, always elusive. Sometimes she wanted to scream at him, once she even raised her gun. There was something about him that irked her and yet she kept coming back. Maybe the fact it was easier to confide in a stranger than someone you care about? She wasn't sure that was true, she talked to Peter, had already but still---running out on him wasn't right either. At least he'd come after her. He was Peter. Giving her space until the point he knew she needed him. She didn't even have to say it.

When would this nightmare of her life ever end?

***

"The deeper the addiction, the more extreme the rift." Somewhere between hearing Walter on the phone, talking with Peter and driving the rental car she'd pieced it together. She wasn't certain but coming back to the hotel, seeing the handwriting similarities it all had clicked. This man, in some weird way reminded Olivia of her step-father. The fact he was an addict though to dreams and not liquor made little difference.

Explaining to Peter about her step-father had been easy. It was of the past and though it had been difficult in dealing with, she often times found herself speaking about it with little to no emotion. As if she were reciting something from a report she were reading---as though it wasn't her own story. She knew if a therapist had met with her, she'd probably be labeled as having some sort of detachment disorder.

She understood addiction. Not in the same way a doctor or scientist might but from experience. She knew what it did to people, how their personalities could easily be split. It had been her experiences, her emotion that made her a better agent but also helped solve the case. It was the lead that they hadn't expected, the one staring at them the entire time without a second thought.

She was relieved when they'd managed to end the chaos. Though one man was dead, another was alive. More catastrophes, more deaths would have occurred if she hadn't figured out the connection as quickly as she did. One nightmare was over, she wondered if hers could end as well. Was Peter right? Telling yourself you're not going to dream would in fact help you forget your dreams, even when you did have them? She'd have to give it time to see if it worked. If she was listening to Sam's crazy theories, the least she could do was take a chance on Peter's. Even if it wasn't advice for her, it still may have been sound.

She'd find out soon enough. It was time to head home. Back to Boston.

***

Coming back to the hotel, she called the airline to schedule their flight only to find out they'd missed the last one out for tonight.

"Great," she muttered beneath her breath feeling Peter's eyes on her as he sat perched at the edge of her bed. His bags were packed and he checked out of his room, waiting for her to make the final arrangements on their flight. Slamming the phone shut, she shook her head, "no flights out tonight."

"You're kidding," Peter sighed pushing himself off her bed. "First thing tomorrow morning?" He guessed. He hated early mornings but they'd have to make do.

"Yeah, we're booked for the morning. You might want to go down, see if you can get yourself another room."

"I can't just stay in here?" Peter joked moving off the mattress. "Is it okay if I leave my bag here while I try and get myself another room?"

"Yeah, sure," Olivia nodded. "Just knock when you come back up," she smiled lying down on the bed feeling exhausted she smiled watching him walk out of the room, her eyes moving over his body. Hearing the door close she exhaled a loud sigh. As grateful as she was to be going home, she'd had her first night of actual sleep since being here. She hadn't slept so well at home lately. She hated thinking she'd be going back to the stress of reality, of what her life had become—in Sam's words, "a nightmare."

She wasn't sure how long she had been lying there were her eyes closed when she heard Peter knocking on the door. "Just a sec!" She called sitting up and climbing off the bed, walking to the door. She opened it seeing his face red. "You okay?"

"No," he shook his head, "they already gave my reservation away!"

"Your room," she nodded slowly. "It's not a big deal. I'm sure they have other rooms available in the hotel?" She guessed.

"There's a wedding this weekend," he sighed, "you have the last room." Peter stared at her, "you're not going to make me sleep in the car, are you?" He was half-joking hoping she wouldn't suggest they try another hotel in the city. There were plenty of places but he didn't feel like driving all around town to find one with two open rooms.

"You're serious," she stared at him, letting him inside the room with her. He walked past her towards the couch, having a seat. "We can call around other hotels or just share this room." She offered with a shrug. "I honestly don't care." She paused glancing at him, "that's not true. I don't feel like going to another hotel but if you're not comfortable sharing a bed we can call around."

Peter tried to hide the smile growing on his lips. "You mean you're not kicking me to the couch?"

"I would but I really don't want to hear you complaining the entire flight home about how sore you are." She smiled letting her eyes meet his. "It's not a big deal. We're adults, I'm sure we can handle sleeping together."

A huge smile broke onto Peter's face. "Sleeping together, huh? Here I thought we were just sharing a bed."

"You are twisting my words," she laughed heading to the bathroom. "I'm going to get changed, brush my teeth, you just---stay out of trouble."

"Don't worry. I'm too tired to get myself into any." He offered a smile watching her grab her clothes from her bag she'd packed. He watched her walk to the bathroom closing the door behind her.

He wasted no time in changing to his pajamas, figuring she'd be a few minutes and he could get himself comfortable and settled into bed. He was more than surprised she offered to share the bed. It wasn't as though he wasn't used to sleeping on the couch. Though he had hoped those nights were over, he'd have made do with it tonight. Her offer though, surprised him. Not that he'd admit it to her.

A few minutes later she emerged from the bathroom. "It's all yours," she told him putting her clothes into her bag watching him on the bed. "You're on my side." She smiled gesturing for him to move over.

He opened his mouth to object, to make a remark about her lying there if she wanted but he wasn't moving. He opted against it, knowing he still needed to get up, brush his teeth, use the bathroom before bed. There was only so long he could hold out before he got too tired. As it was they had to be up early. "I'm moving," he nodded moving from the bed, "but I expect my spot back when I'm done."

"Don't hold your breath," she smiled watching him head for his bag, grab his toothbrush before walking to the bathroom. Olivia pulled back the covers, making herself comfortable. Stretching out on the bed she felt the warmth of the sheets beneath her from wear Peter had been lying. She let her eyes close momentarily as she yawned. Shifting she pulled the covers tighter, smelling him all over the sheets.

Peter stepped out from the bathroom, seeing her lying there, eyes closed beneath the covers. He shut off the light and walked around feeling the edge of the bed before finding the empty space, climbing in beside her.

"Night Peter," she breathed rolling onto her side, feeling the covers shift as he made himself comfortable. Her eyes opened watching him in the darkness.

"Goodnight," he smiled watching her, wanting to reach out, touch her, kiss her. All he could do was admire and let her sleep. He had this moment between them to enjoy and treasure. He watched her eyes close as she finally fell to sleep.


	3. Part 3

Part 3

***

Shifting against the mattress, she felt a warm body wrapped around her. Sighing softly, contently she breathed him in, felt a soft warmth against her neck and slowly her eyes opened realizing she was curled up into Peter. He was still fast asleep. Her eyes opened watching him sleep, feeling his hands against her hips, slowly drawing a pattern beneath her t-shirt as he held her to him.

She contemplated slipping from his grasp, untangling herself, never telling him about this very moment.

In all honesty though, she didn't want to move. It felt good, even if he was dreaming it was another woman, another body, another something---she felt oddly comforted.

"Livia," he rasped and her eyes trained on him, smiling when she glanced down, stifling a laugh. So apparently it was one of those dreams. He shifted in his sleep, bringing her body beneath his. Not once did his eyes open as she felt his body pinning her to the mattress.

She opened her mouth, to object, to wake him up, knowing somehow this was wrong and yet, never had it felt so good, so right. She didn't say anything, felt his hands roam her hips and her eyes closed. She let him grind into her hips, felt her heart pounding and his mouth against her neck. It was a lazy kiss, sloppy and messy but she didn't expect more from a sleeping Peter.

Biting down on her bottom lip she suppressed a moan as she felt the desire within her building. She'd been through a lot lately, maybe this was what she needed to move on, heal old wounds.

If there wouldn't have been clothes between them she would have felt him driving into her. Instead his hips rocked as his lips moved over her neck. Her breathing quickened as her heart raced. Her mind didn't think about anything but this very moment, what she was feeling, experiencing.

She shuddered beneath him. Her neck arching back against the pillow, her fingers digging into the sheets, bunching them in fists trying not to wake Peter. As much as she wanted to, she didn't want him to pull away. She didn't want this to end. She needed this with him.

Feeling his body still above hers, carefully she slipped from his grasp, quietly heading to the bathroom needing to get changed and take a cold shower. With her back to him, his eyes opened a smirk on his face. She never saw the look in his eyes, the knowing fact on what had happened between them. He heard the door close and the shower run. He knew she was probably taking a cold shower, trying to cleanse herself and forget what just transpired. He wasn't going to let her forget. No chance of that happening.

***

Coming out from the bathroom, Peter didn't so much as attempt to hide the smile on his face. "Save me any hot water?" He asked, watching as she ran the towel through her hair.

Her smile matched his, but she believed for a different reason. "Yeah, I did." Olivia nodded. "How'd you sleep?" She tried not to stare at him but his eyes were locked on hers.

"Good. I had a really great dream," he beamed, gauging her reaction.

Olivia nodded slowly, "I'm not surprised." She turned heading for the front door, grabbing her key doing her best to avoid his stare. "I'm going to grab us breakfast. You should get ready we have a flight to catch soon." With that she headed out the front door, her heart was still pounding. No amount of time in the shower had helped soothe her. The problem was, her body, her heart, none of it wanted to calm down. She craved more from Peter but she knew it was risky. She'd done relationships with coworkers. It wasn't the best of ideas.

She grabbed two coffees, keeping an eye on the time. Bringing it back to the room, she pushed the door open, seeing Peter putting his shirt on. Her eyes stared at his chest, finding it difficult to look away.

"What'd you bring me?" Peter asked eyeing the drinks. He finished getting himself dressed.

"Coffee, just the way you like it," she offered him the cup.

"What'd I do to deserve this?" Peter smiled a knowing grin taking it from her hands, "thanks, Livia." He took a sip feeling it burn its way down his throat. It felt good.

"Yeah," she nodded her eyes glancing around the room, anywhere but him. She could feel his eyes on her and it was making her slightly nervous. He didn't remember any of what happened, right? He was probably just in a good mood from sharing a bed, getting a decent night's sleep. That had to be the reason. Or maybe that dream he was telling her about. If only he knew the truth. No, she couldn't tell him. He'd probably feel violated, that she'd taken advantage of him---since she'd been the one awake during all of it. She should have stopped him. Truth was, she hadn't wanted to though. "We should head out to the airport soon. Don't want to miss our flight."

"Yeah, I'm ready," Peter nodded holding his cup in one hand and grabbing his bag in the other. Olivia reached for her bag, watching as Peter handed her his cup. "I'll take that, you hold my drink, okay?"

"I---okay," she didn't feel like arguing. Olivia grabbed the door, leading him down and to a cab. Together they sat beside one another, his leg brushing against hers with each bump. She couldn't help but notice it, feel a spark each time it happened. She sucked in a breath, trying not to think about it. Her attention turned towards the window. She tried thinking about the case, about Boston and home but she kept feeling Peter beside her. Maybe that was a good thing? He'd taken her mind off all the terrible things she'd been dealing with. Right now though, it didn't feel good. Maybe because she felt guilty? It was a secret she had to keep.

"I'll take my coffee," Peter reached for his cup, his fingers brushing her hand intentionally. "You're quiet this morning. More so than usual." He sipped his coffee, his eyes on her the entire time.

"Just thinking," she answered glancing at him.

"About?" He waited for her to respond, doing his best not to push her. It'd been difficult lately. She hadn't been the most forthcoming with how she'd been feeling and what she'd been going through.

"It's been nice to be away from home for awhile," Olivia admitted. She didn't elaborate on all the reasons why. She didn't have to for him to know and understand.

"Worried that things will go back to the way they've been?" Peter guessed.

"It just feels like a lot of pressure," she breathed. "Bell---I failed. He sent me a message and I screwed up. I couldn't remember his message and it was all for not."

"I don't think that's entirely true," he shifted beside her, his hand reaching out, stroking her cheek, pushing the hair out of her face. "You know more than when we started. That's something."

"Nearly dying in the process, what's that Peter?" She was still bitter about it. How could she not be? She felt like a puppet.

"You're here," he stared at her, "real as ever," his thumb stroked her cheek for a moment before finally pulling his hand away. "Don't ever forget that." He didn't want her living in the past, thinking about every time they'd failed at something. It would get them nowhere.

Her eyes fell shut as she exhaled a long breath. "Yeah, I guess I am." It still didn't feel real though. After being pulled through dimensions without knowing it, she hated wondering if she could walk through the door again, between worlds and not know the difference. It terrified her. She felt his breath against her temple as he planted a soft kiss trying to calm her down.

"We'll figure this out, together." He assured her.

"I know we will," she nodded slowly tentatively, giving Peter a weak smile trying to assure him she was fine. Finally he pulled back as the driver pulled up out front of the airport. It was time to go home.


	4. Part 4

Part 4:

***

It was the first time she didn't mind being squished in the middle seat of the airplane. Maybe it was because Peter wasn't sitting beside her. He was several rows up, sitting in a center seat as well. That's what they got for booking their flight home last minute. Choices were limited. They were lucky to get the flight at all.

She knew she couldn't avoid what had happened forever. In fact, the point being she liked it, she didn't want to forget it. It terrified her though, the feelings that surfaced. They'd been coming for awhile, she'd done her best fighting it back, refusing and denying any hint of it but eventually she knew he'd break through the walls she'd put up around her heart.

Except this was not how she imagined it. Honestly she thought he would have kissed her after she woke up, having nearly died—or at worst after a terrible case, like when Charlie had been killed by her hand. She never expected a kiss to be one of the last things and an orgasm to be the first. She tried not to think about it but she could see him several rows up, sitting beside two beautiful women. It was hard not to feel jealous even if she had no right to him.

The flight took off and she pulled out her small notebook, glancing at the letters she'd written down from the business cards. So she was supposed to jumble, scramble, solve the puzzle. Her eyes stared at the paper, quickly losing track of time. She hadn't noticed Peter, standing up and walking down the aisle. She failed to notice him standing by her row, watching her intently. The man beside her, got up, headed to the bathroom sensing they knew each other and could use a moment. Peter jumped at the opportunity, taking the seat beside her.

"What are you working on?" He glanced at the notebook.

"Peter?" She glanced over, quickly shutting it, wondering when he'd sat down. "It's nothing. How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to see you trained in thought," he acknowledged. "You know, you're allowed to take a break from work."

"I know. It's not work," Olivia shook her head, giving him a faint smile. "It's just something someone suggested I do, that it might help."

He stared at her, trying to understand what she was talking about. A therapist perhaps? He wasn't aware she was seeing anyone but he also knew it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Of course talking about her experience probably wouldn't help her cause. No, it wasn't a therapist. "Is it helping?" Peter asked trying not to pry too much. It hadn't helped lately.

"I'll let you know when I figure it out," she offered him a weak smile. "You should probably get back to your seat," she nodded seeing the man returning for his.

"Yeah, probably. I'll catch up with you later." Peter sighed standing up heading back to his seat. He was looking forward to sitting with her for the flight back to Boston. He knew there was always a chance it would be a full flight but he really had been hoping there'd be two seats together. Peter chose not to dwell on it, he'd find time to talk with her later.

***

It was a long flight and an even longer drive. Olivia had been the one behind the wheel. She didn't mind the drive, it was the silence in the car that bothered her more than anything. Of course she wasn't helping matters---opening her mouth every so often only to close it. What was she supposed to say?

"Where's the apartment?" She asked him again, her mind still not quite right after all she'd been through. She'd heard the news that he and Walter were sharing an apartment now, no longer a hotel room.

"Make a right at the next block," Peter instructed, leading her through the city towards his new home. "And here we are," he breathed staring up at the high-rise. Pulling up out front she parked the car and stepped out, unlocking the trunk where their bags were buried. He pulled his luggage out, glancing at her, wanting to say something, to acknowledge this morning, that he knew all along. No words came from his lips though. Telling her now, it was the wrong time. She would panic and more than likely close herself off to him. He'd be lucky if she wasn't angry. He needed her to be the one to make the next move. He just had to wait and he wasn't great with sitting around patiently.

"Have a good night, Peter." She breathed feeling his eyes intently locked on hers. She fiddled with the car keys, feeling butterflies in her stomach.

"You too, Livia," he leaned in brushing his lips over her cheek. "Try to get some rest. I know it's not easy but we all need it." He could see the dark circles beneath her eyes and it was clear coming back to Boston put the weight of everything back upon her shoulders. He worried about her, how could he not?

"Yeah, I---" she paused thinking over the right thing to say. "I'll see you at work on Monday." She finally answered.

Peter stared at her, slightly disappointed she hadn't brought the hotel incident up but he wondered now if she ever would. "You want to come up, see the new place?" He gestured behind him at the door. "Walter won't mind. I can put on a pot of coffee---assuming I can find the pot." He smiled weakly, hoping she'd take the bait.

"I would like that," she breathed, "but there's something I wanted to do before the sun goes down." It was already getting late. "Some other time?"

"Yeah, some other time," Peter nodded. "I'll see you on Monday." He wasn't going to push her. Right now it felt like one step forward and two steps back. The cliché had become his life, at least with her.

"Bye, Peter." She breathed giving him a faint smile, walking back to the car, unlocking the door and getting in. She wanted to go upstairs but she couldn't. Aside from the fact she was dreading the conversation that she knew she had to bring up, she also needed to figure things out on her own. It's what she'd always done in the past, it's what she needed to do now.

***

She picked up flowers at a local florist, the same one she'd ordered a bouquet from for the funeral. Carrying them to the grave she placed them down, feeling them fall from her fingers. Her heart was heavy. The sun was still quite high in the sky but the afternoon glow illuminated through the trees. It was a beautiful resting place for Charlie. He shouldn't have been here though. He shouldn't have been dead, and at her hand. Though she knew she had to do it, it still stung.

She wanted to say something but what words could express her sorrow? She felt lost, confused, on a destiny to nowhere.

Finally she walked back to the car. She wasn't ready to leave yet. She reached for the notebook, the one she'd started trying to decipher on the plane. The mysterious phrase but what was it? She started to write but the words didn't make sense. She scratched them out and began again.

It was Charlie. His words. The one's she'd said to Peter in the hotel room. 'You're gonna be fine.' Of course it was but how? It saddened her, her bottom lip jutted out slightly before trembling and then the tears came. The ones she'd been harboring and hiding, not letting anyone see, not even Peter.

She didn't feel fine. She felt a mess.

She didn't know how long she sat in the car. Her eyes burned, her hands still trembled as she turned on the heat. It was getting late. She needed to get home, find herself something for dinner and then what? She'd probably toss and turn. Sleep never seemed to find her in this place, not anymore.

For the first moment in a long time after pouring her soul out to no one but herself, she felt better. She didn't know how it worked, with Sam and the business cards. She didn't ask. She didn't need to know, if this is what she needed to heal, so be it.

She drove back to her apartment, the darkness blanketing the city as she made it back to her home. Once inside she called and ordered a pizza for dinner. Cooking was not at the top of her to do list.

Sitting down on the sofa, she stretched out, letting her eyes close. She could still feel his lips on hers, his body above her, pinning her down. Her heart seemed to speed up at the thought of Peter, his body turning her on. She had to deal with it, but how? She hadn't figured it out but she needed to. He was ruggedly handsome. He wouldn't wait around forever and she'd seen the jealousy streak in her---with Rachel. Though her sister swore to her nothing happened, she still felt anger that it could have. That Peter looked at Rachel in 'that' way. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. That may have been the first time she felt the spark, she wasn't sure though. She tried to settle the feelings. They worked together, it was a bad idea. Besides he could have any woman in the world, he probably just enjoyed the chase---flirting with her, seeing how far she'd let it go. Shifting on the sofa she sighed. Maybe she should return the flirting, see where it leads them? What harm could come from it? She'd already shared a bed with him, shuddered beneath his body as he dreamt of her. It couldn't get any weirder.

Tomorrow. She'd do something about it then. Tonight was her night alone. She'd have dinner, maybe enjoy a nice hot bath and relax. She needed her sleep.


	5. Part 5

Part 5

***

After dinner she drew herself a hot bath. It was as relaxing as she'd hoped. It helped soothe her aching muscles and she felt herself suddenly tired. That was a good thing. She enjoyed her dinner, though it was pizza and not the best meal she could have had, it was quick and easy. It also didn't involve cooking. Tonight she didn't feel up to preparing an elaborate dinner. Besides, she was the only one at home. It was different when Rachel and Ella were staying with her.

It was getting late and she flipped through the channels, not finding much of anything to watch. She didn't feel quite like going to bed just yet but there wasn't much to do on a Saturday night. That was a sad thought. She liked going out, considered finding a bar, having a drink, meeting someone but somehow it felt like a betrayal to Peter.

So instead she was stretched out, the remote in her hand. She felt her eyes heavy but she was fighting sleep.

She nearly jumped out of her seat when she heard the door. She wasn't expecting company and less had expected a knock at her door. Usually the buzzer sounded. Maybe it was a neighbor or someone had the wrong door? "Just a second!" Olivia called back standing up, heading for it glancing through the peephole finding a rather tired looking Peter. She pulled open the door, glancing him over. He didn't look drunk, just tired and----something else. She couldn't quite put her finger on it. "Hey, Peter. What's going on?"

"Can I come in?" He shifted on his feet rather uncomfortably.

"Yeah, of course," she opened the door further letting him inside. "What's wrong?" She asked glancing him over. Noticing the sweatpants and jacket he had on. He wasn't dressed like she would have expected. She glanced at the clock realizing it was already past one. She hadn't realized she'd been up so late and was even more surprised Peter was here, in her apartment at this hour. It didn't look as though he was here regarding a case.

"I just---I needed to see you." Peter breathed, "can I sit?" He gestured to the sofa.

"Yeah, sure." Olivia locked up the front door. She reached for the remote turning the television off, giving Peter her undivided attention.

"Remember how we were in Seattle, I was telling you I had nightmares as a child?" His hands were clasped together, his head bent down still recanting the dream in his mind. It felt real and it was terrifying.

"Yeah, I recall," Olivia nodded. "You had another one tonight?" She could see the haunted expression, his eyes filled with pain, something she hadn't seen before.

"I did," Peter sighed, "and I know it wasn't real but I needed to get out of the apartment. Walter was there, staring at me. He seemed less than shocked."

"Well you did mention you'd had them as a boy," Olivia tried not to make a huge deal of it. "You want to stay here tonight?"

A faint smile tugged at his lips, "that's not why I came by," though it was what he wanted. "I just needed some space. Away from Walter." He glanced at her, as she sat beside him on the sofa.

"Is there anything I can do?" Olivia offered reaching a hand out to his arm. "I know a thing or two about nightmares these days."

Peter sighed, "yeah I suspected as much." He glanced down at her hand against his skin. It was warm, comforting. It reminded him of the previous night, curled up in bed beside her. He regretted not making a move when they'd both been awake. Though he swore to himself, he wanted her to be the one to make the first move, he needed her to be ready---he also felt that maybe starting the fire would be what she needed. What they needed. "I'm not sure what can be done. Maybe that old mantra before bed again?" He gave her the weakest of smiles.

"Yeah, that might work. I have a few other ideas in mind too." Olivia smiled back at him.

"Like what?" Peter stared into her piercing green eyes. In the darkened apartment with the soft light from the lamp they were brighter than usual. He was captivated, couldn't take his stare off her.

"Turn around." Olivia smiled finding it easier to speak when he wasn't staring at her. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Besides this way another way to help him settle down. "All the way," she gestured moving her hand to his shoulder guiding him to face away from her. Once he was situated her hands moved to his shoulder, gently massaging him. She was doing her best to calm him down, take things off his mind.

"So this is your plan?" Peter smiled. "Seduce me?"

"Well there's always that," she laughed, "actually seducing you would involve me taking off your shirt, licking your neck right now. Tasting the salty skin and then---" she paused with a laugh, "you get the idea."

His eyes had closed and his head hung forward with a smile imagining her words. "No, continue, Livia. Please."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" She whispered, her breath tickling his neck. Her lips hadn't yet kissed him but they were close enough to leave a lasting impression.

He felt his body instantly responding and smiled with his eyes still shut. "No worse than what happened this morning between us." He felt her hands still. She didn't say anything. "Livia?"

"You were awake during that?" She was shocked.

"I could be asking you that too," Peter smiled. "Though I heard you enjoying it."

Her hands dropped from his shoulders. "I don't know what to say." Her face reddened watching him turn around to face her.

"You could start by telling me you liked it," Peter laughed, "boost my ego a little."

Olivia stared at him, "you were awake. Why didn't you say something, open your eyes at least?" She didn't understand. "I thought---"

"I know," Peter nodded slowly, "I figured you'd stop me if you knew I was awake." He sighed seeing the look on her face. If she hated it that much, why didn't she stop him? He knew the reason, it wasn't that she hated it at all.

"You know this is crazy, right?" She laughed weakly, feeling slightly embarrassed by it. She wasn't great with relationships. They always turned out to be a mistake. Most of the men were attracted to the badge, the gun, she was the afterthought. The few times the men knew her, wanted more than just sex, it felt wrong. Her heart hadn't been it the way she had hoped. She couldn't explain it. Like biding time. How could you tell a man that cares about you, confesses his feelings that you're just waiting for the next best thing to come? With Peter, it had all felt different, been different.

"Which part?" He smiled reaching out for her, his fingers moving along her wrist, gently up her arm as her eyes were trained down, thinking but not speaking.

"You and me. All of it, Peter. We haven't even so much as kissed and we---this morning in the hotel room." She couldn't even say the words aloud. She ran a hand through her hair nervously avoiding his stare.

"Yeah, we did," Peter nodded happily. "It wasn't typical but it was good. Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it."

"That's beside the point," she felt the smile on her lips and moved her head up seeing his eyes on her. "I did enjoy it, okay?" Why was talking about this with him so difficult? She could tell him almost anything else but when it came to feelings and relationships it seemed impossible.

"So then what's the problem?" Peter asked reaching out, his thumb stroking her cheek.

"I'm terrified I'll lose you. The same way I lost Charlie or John." She stared at him. "I can't lose you, Peter. I can't go through that, not again." Maybe they were different feelings she'd had for each man but it hadn't changed the growing ache in her heart. It seemed to be getting bigger.

He couldn't make false promises. He had no intention of going anywhere but he'd seen her tossed back into this world after being pulled away. He didn't know if it could happen to him. He hoped it wouldn't but it was a thought he didn't want to have. "I'm not going anywhere, Livia." Leaving wasn't going to be his choice. His eyes locked on hers. "You asked me to stay in Boston and until you tell me to go, I'm here with you."


	6. Part 6

_This is the last part of Dampness. I hope you all enjoyed it. Thanks for the feedback and for reading!_

Part 6

The room was silent, for what seemed liked hours. In reality only a few minutes passed. "Should I head back to the apartment?" Peter finally broke the silence first. He wasn't sure what he hoped would happen tonight, coming here. Actually he hoped he'd get a decent night's sleep in her bed. Though he knew that was a long shot.

"No," Olivia shook her head, emitting a heavy sigh. "You want to talk about your dream?" She offered not knowing if it was still on his mind. It was all she could do to change the subject, settle her heart down.

"Not particularly," he smiled weakly. Talking about it wouldn't really help. Though he wanted her to know what he was going through, he didn't want to give all the details. It was a nightmare, it would be best forgotten. "I know you haven't been sleeping well. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," she smiled weakly. "Guess we have something in common," she breathed staring at him.

"We have a lot in common," Peter answered giving her a smile in return. Maybe they grew up in different worlds but they were here together now. "It's getting late. I should probably head back."

"You don't have to leave." Olivia breathed.

"Are you sure?" He stared at her, locking eyes, wondering what she wanted. She hadn't said anything and yet her offering her home to him, was a huge step.

"It's just sleep, okay?" She smiled chewing on her bottom lip feeling her cheeks burn, "no fondling me in the morning," she laughed trying to cut through the tension.

"Damn, just what I was looking forward to," Peter chuckled watching as she stood up.

"Come on," she reached for his hand, leading him to her bedroom. "I'm not sure what I have for you to wear to bed so you might just have to strip down," she teased him, trying to feel at ease again. She saw he was wearing what looked to be something he'd slept in earlier.

Peter smiled back at her, "only if we're in matching pajamas again." His eyes moved over her apartment, taking in every detail as he entered her bedroom. He felt her hand slip away from his and watched as she opened her dresser drawers, pulling out pajamas. He came up behind her, his hands at her sides, peering over her shoulder. "Anything sexy in there?"

"Yeah, maybe," she laughed giving him a look as she shut the drawer and turned around to face him. Her back was to the dresser and she only realized now how close he'd been standing. Her heart skipped a beat.

Peter leaned closer, "let me see it on you," his breath tickled her lips but he didn't kiss her. Not yet.

"What do I get for it?" She whispered, her eyes falling to his lips feeling her breath growing shallow. She wanted to lean in, take a taste from his lips.

"What do you want?" Peter smiled watching her, seeing her lean closer as her eyes grew heavy. He knew what he wanted but he'd wanted it for awhile. He wasn't sure she was ready for it.

Olivia smiled, "I asked you first," her eyes found his stare.

"That's such a cop out," Peter laughed finally pulling back trying to break the heat between them. As much as he wanted to kiss her, push her against the dresser, touch her body like he had that morning, there were consequences for his actions. Losing her was not an option. Scaring her was something he felt he'd already done that morning. He wasn't making the same mistake twice. Next time, when it happened, it would be real. He was sure of it.

"Maybe it is," she laughed walking by him, finally letting out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "I'm going to put this on. You wear-whatever it is you want to bed. I won't be but a minute." She smiled heading for the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Peter watched her close the bathroom door, a smile on his face. He was glad the playful banter was back and they seemed to be their old selves again. He hated worrying about her but she seemed happier now. He hoped he was the reason.

Olivia opened the bathroom door, coming out in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. "You're wearing that to bed?" She smiled, "and I was hoping I'd get a glimpse of you naked tonight. Damn." She laughed teasing him, walking around to the bed, turning off the light before climbing in.

Peter climbed into the empty side, making himself comfortable, stretching out, lying on his side, staring at her. "You tired?" He asked knowing he felt wide awake but he knew it was late and he'd be exhausted come morning.

"Not really," she smiled weakly. She was tired before he came over. Talking to him, being in his proximity made her not tired.

"Any ideas what we could do to help us fall asleep?" He was teasing her.

Olivia smiled, "we could count sheep."

"We could. I have a few other ideas of things to count." Peter smiled shifting closer.

Olivia stared at him, wondering what the hell he was thinking about. "Okay. I'll bite. What other things?"

"Your freckles," he reached out, his arms grabbing her hips, pulling her closer, feeling her stomach flutter with laughter.

"Peter!" She shrieked. He hadn't so much as tickled her but just his touch, her nerves, made her laugh.

"Come on, you're bathed in freckles, I just know it!" He ran his hands over her back feeling her squirming in his grasp and laughing. Gently his touched slipped beneath her top grazing her skin watching as her body leaned closer into his, her head finding his neck.

"Peter," she laughed gasping for air, feeling his hands stilling but her heart was still racing. "You've seen me in a bathing suit," she smiled knowing he'd looked more than once when she'd gotten ready to enter the tank.

"Yes and I saw tons of freckles," Peter nodded, smiling brightly at her. "I didn't have the chance to count them though."

"Oh you poor baby," Olivia laughed gently pushing Peter onto his back, staring down at him. "You're crazy, you know that?"

Peter smiled up at her, "it must run in the family." They both shared a laugh. "I am crazy though, Livia."

"Yeah?" She nodded, her lips smiling down at him, "I'm not surprised."

"Crazy for you." Peter chuckled wrapping his arms around her waist, holding her close to him.

"Do you use that line with all your girlfriends?" She laughed. It was so incredibly cheesy! She couldn't believe anyone would fall for it. She'd heard a lot of horrible pickup lines at the bars but she thought Peter was above all that.

"Oh that hurt." Peter joked, "I might just have to get even with you." He smiled staring down at her, rolling them around her body pinned beneath his.

Her breathing deepened as she felt his body snuggly fit over hers. "Peter," she rasped staring up feeling the room sweltering. Her body began throbbing much like it had that morning except this time he didn't take things a step further.

"Tell me you love me and I'll let you go," he smiled finding her hands, pinning her down to the bed.

"No way," she smiled glad he'd lightened the mood even if it was in flirting with her. She didn't mind being trapped beneath him, she knew he'd never do anything to hurt her.

Peter gasped, "no?"

"No, I like this," she smiled giving him that much as a confession. "Go ahead, pin me down anytime you want."

Peter leaned down, his breath tickling her neck, "and why's that Agent Dunham?"

"Aside from the obvious?" She smiled, her eyes moving over his face and down to his lips. She leaned up wanting to kiss him, her body still trapped down on the mattress and Peter pulled back, wanting to give in but enjoying this dance between them just as much.

"It's not obvious to me. Elaborate." Peter smirked.

"You're an incredibly handsome partner," Olivia answered a smile on her face. "You're intelligent. I think you can figure out the rest."

Peter laughed, his grip on her hands loosening but not giving up entirely. If she wanted to fight him off she easily could but he suspected she wouldn't. "So you mean to tell me, you're turned on right now?" His eyes were dark, letting a spark burn between them.

"I'm telling you I want you to kiss me," she rasped staring up at him, her eyes growing heavy.

Peter leaned down, his lips hovering above hers, waiting dragging it out. "And if I don't?" He smiled knowing he would, it was only a matter of time. He released his grip on her hands, moving them into her hair.

Olivia leaned up, "you will," she breathed, capturing his lips with hers, taking a taste, her fingers finding their way into his hair, along his neck, pulling him tighter and closer. Her body craved this contact and he willingly obliged. Her tongue teased his lips apart, seeking entrance, wanting and needing more.

Finally he pulled away, breathless, his heart pounding. He wanted more but they'd both decided earlier it wouldn't happen tonight. "We should slow down," he rasped resting his forehead against hers.

"What if I don't want to," she answered staring deep into his eyes, her heart pounding in her chest.

"Livia," he smiled wanting to satisfy every desire she had. "I don't think I can say no to you."

"Good," her lips melted onto his, her body wrapping itself around him, pulling at his clothes, wanting nothing between them. Together they rolled around aimlessly, undressing one another, trying to strip every barrier between them. "Peter," she gasped feeling his breath on her neck and his hands parting her thighs, touching her beneath the blankets.

Her eyes closed as she rolled onto her back, feeling Peter follow her, climbing above but not lowering himself yet. He watched her expression before leaning down taking a taste from her lips. His fingers wandered over her curves, stroking and touching, moving down her body with kisses.

"Up here," she breathed, letting her eyes open though a struggle, as her hands found his arms, pulling him to her. "Want you," she mumbled lazily finding his lips again, sharing another intense kiss as his fingers slowly moved down her stomach. She rolled them around, wanting Peter beneath her, smiling deviously down at him. Her hips straddled him, her hands roamed along his chest, staring down, smiling and teasing, dragging this out.

Peter leaned up, his fingers moving into her hair, pulling her lips down and her body came crashing with it. Another moment and he rolled them around, pinning her body beneath his again. His hands found hers, pushing them down into the mattress, keeping her beneath him, trapped. As much as he loved her dominating him, that would be for another time. Tonight he wanted to be in the control.

Olivia smiled up at him, her eyes dark and shined with desire, waiting for him. She shifted beneath him, spreading her legs further, trying to use her hips to work him up, make him ready. He kept her pinned to the bed but she didn't care, she felt his lips on hers and then her neck. It was driving her crazy! She always knew when this moment came, it would be unbelievable. Never did she feel as though she'd explode.

Finally she felt one of his hands loosen their grip and her hand moved down between them, stroking him, touching him as she leaned up finding his lips, taking a taste full of hunger and yearning. She guided him inside her warmth, moaning as he filled her, her head dipping back as her body arched off the bed. As cliché as it was, they were a perfect fit.

Her fingers found his back, pulling him tighter and closer, feeling his muscles at her fingers. His skin was warm, her heart sped up with each breath they shared together. Their bodies moved as one, his hands finding her lower back, pulling her with him, inching them closer as his lips hovered before leaning down again and again. Each kiss was better than the last. Each breath came out labored as the room sweltered.

Her fingers struggled to stay on his back, one hand squeezed the bedsheets, not wanting to hurt him as the sensation overwhelmed her. Her insides tightened, his body swelled and together they came crashing down, gasping for air.

"Wow." It was the only word she could manage to get out. Her heart kept pounding, her eyes opening smiling as the only sight in front of her was Peter smiling down at her.

"Thank you," he breathed leaning down kissing her.

"For?" She laughed smiling up at him, never having been thanked for sex before.

"This morning," Peter kissed her softly, "not going crazy on me when I told you the truth."

"You know the entire time I felt bad for taking advantage of you!" She laughed wrapping her arms around his neck, her fingers finding their way into his hair.

"Take advantage all you want," Peter smiled, "I looked forward to it."

"I bet you do," Olivia laughed leaning up capturing his lips yet again. She never wanted this moment to end. She never wanted to let go of him, afraid that he could be gone as quickly as everyone else in her life she was close to. She couldn't live her life looking over her shoulder though. She didn't want to think about tomorrow for tonight, she had him, in her bed.

A/N: Thanks for reading and supporting my writing! I've now writing full time and have published a novel _Aberrant_, a Young Adult Romantic Dystopian Adventure. Be sure to check it out at


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